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February 06 2018












When you guys have visited potential apartments, what kind of questions did you ask besides the basics like what rent and utilities include?

Here are questions I didn’t ask but should have: what does the basement look like?

What measures are taken to secure the building ?

Are the walls thin?
Brief info of who lives in the building. Are they college kids? People that work through the day? Elderly? Is it a mix?
Where does the garbage go?

Can I pay rent bi-weekly?
What kind of fuses does the apartment use? (My fuse box is in the basement. If I blow a fuse I have to replace it myself. They screw until the box. All of which I didn’t know until it happend and I was sitting in the dark suddenly)

Who do I call for repairs? (If it’s a private rental)
Am I allowed to paint the walls?
Is there any additional storage?
Do you do regular pest control?

count the outlets, ask about recycling policies, ask if there’s a noise restriction (nothing loud after midnight, everything goes on the weekend, etc)

Definitely ask about security
Whether subletting is allowed (esp if you’re in college and might want to sublet for the summer)
If you have a car, whether there’s parking/how much it costs
What kind of heating/AC there is
Procedure/response time for any maintenance
How mail/packages are received/protected from theft (seriously people stealing your packages can be a huge problem)
What kind of verification of your salary will they want, and in what circumstances will they accept a guarantor instead?
Whether the apartment is furnished

Assuming you are in the middle of looking at/choosing between places:
When does the lease start? Are you going to give preference to people based on when they can move in?
Whether groups of a certain number of people get preference
Really anything about who they prioritize for applications, it can save you a lot of trouble in trying to apply to places you’ll never get into

not something for asking the realtors, necessarily, but important rights you should be aware of as a tenant:

when and for what reasons are your landlords allowed to enter your home? how much of a notice should they give you before entering?

can the landlord make modifications to your home or apartment without your approval? to what extent?

what are the options and conditions for breaking your lease early if there’s an emergency? (this is ESPECIALLY important for anyone moving to a new state/considerable distance where you are not able to visit the apartment/home before you rent – students get taken advantage of ALL THE TIME with this shit)

if your first or last month at the property is a partial stay (i.e. you move in on july 15th, and rent is typically due on the first) make sure you don’t pay the full first month’s rent before you know the area laws! in many states, you are only legally required to pay for the time you are occupying the property

is renter’s insurance necessary? many apartments want at least 30k coverage, which can run a couple hundred dollars extra per year

are the landlords/property management liable for crimes on the property? for example, if your car was broken into. if not GET RENTER’S INSURANCE

-ask if there’s any property upkeep you can do to get a bit off the rent (aka, can they take 100$ off the monthly rent if you maintain the lawns/garden, etc.) 

-ask if there’s been any consistent/frequent trouble with electricity/internet connectivity/cable if you have it

-what KIND of electricity? 

-what kind of heating (hot water/electric)

-how secure is the neighborhood (if you don’t know) 

-ANY PLUMBING ISSUES? check ALL the fucking taps, the showers, EVERYTHING WITH WATER to make sure it all works right. 

-ANY PLUMBING ISSUES? check ALL the fucking taps, the showers, EVERYTHING WITH WATER to make sure it all works right. 



- who last lived here? why did they leave?

- Do they charge an “amenities fee” (Around here you can’t avoid them at all now, but some places you might still be able to)

- Do they have a policy on rent increases? (Also check if there’s a legal limit to rent increases in the area).

- Are utilities paid in a separate check or with the rent?

- Are utilities metered or pro-rated (in older buildings it’s common to be charged by square footage and/or number of occupants, which can leave you subsidizing the people who turn the a/c down to 60 in the summer or the heat up to 80 in the winter - you may not be able to avoid this but it’s worth trying).

- Are there any switched circuits in the apartment. Buildings built in the late sixties through the early eighties often have switched circuits. If they do, then with the number of devices used these days you will probably have to have something important on the switched circuit - tape the switch in the on position! (Trust me).

- What are the rules on hanging pictures?

- Who is responsible for paying for and replacing bulbs in permanent fixtures? If it’s you and there’s a fixture with weird/unusual bulbs (globe style, chandelier style, etc) ask where you can buy the bulbs.

- What are the rules about pets? Do they have breed specific restrictions on dogs? Size restrictions on fish tanks? (Believe it or not that’s not uncommon).

This will be so useful once my lease is up thanks tumblr ☺️🙏🏾

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Dancer in the night
playing with my eyes.
Velvet tongue so sweet
say anything you like.

Trails from my led hoop 💫🌠💫

Forget about sex. Just play first. Dance, sing, read to each other, breathe together - communicate. Don’t count on sex to be the door to intimacy. It’s the other way around: first develop intimacy skills. Then make love to enjoy them.
— Margot Anand (via sexisspirituality)


Just heard the Eagles won!! So happy for them!!!!! I’m a huge fan I love Hotel California

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my dad noticed i was stressed so he 3d printed me a little wooden elephant

this is Good

Poly doesn’t always feel nice.

And that’s ok.

Sometimes… Poly is watching your partner get their needs that match yours met with someone else.

Sometimes poly is having to accept less, instead of all.

Sometimes poly is, I hate this, but you don’t need my permission to do it anyway.

Sometimes poly is burning. Sitting in your room, your house, alone, burning with all the emotions and there is no one to put you out except yourself. And sometimes, you’re not enough of a firefighter.

Sometimes poly is boring.

Sometimes poly is Netflix and chilling, by yourself, your own hand down your pajama pants.

Sometimes poly is rage. Fierce, hot, molten gold down your gullet, choking you, burning you, cooking you to a not-quick enough death.

Sometimes it’s this is not enough, but this is better than nothing.

Sometimes it’s pain, bright, white hot, cutting into the very core of you. Splintering you into a thousand, million pieces.

Sometimes it’s I don’t know how I survive this.

Sometimes poly is… Acceptance of not so great, because there is no other option.

Sometimes poly is a snide laugh, a kick in the gut, a slap in the face.

Sometimes poly is heartbreak.

Sometimes poly is, I will never feel “safe” again.

Sometimes it’s just… Overthinking. Overanalyzing. Overdoing. Over scheduling. Overtalking. Over… Everything.

Sometimes poly is… Can’t I just go back?

But what poly really is?

Poly is I can’t. I can’t go back. Because going back would mean so much sacrifice. So much giving up of people that I cannot fathom how much I love them. So much beautiful, wonderful, awful exploration of self that I would never get again. I can’t say, I don’t want my lovers and friends and amazing people who blur ALL of my lines and boundaries with their amazing selves. I can’t say, for the sake of some general level of “comfort” that I know is false, I will give up everyone. Their intimacy, their vulnerability, their nakedness. What they look like laughing, and coming, and crying. Versions of them I don’t get to see within the confines of monogamy as I knew it. I have sacrificed so very much to be here, uncomfortable, today.

I can’t.

I feel I’m awake now, with all the discomfort that comes with awakening. But I can’t go back to sleep. It’s shitty, sometimes, being awake. The sun is too bright, the sounds too harsh. It’s easy when I’m head down, dreaming. But it’s not real, you know? It’s an illusion, a construct. It works for some, but I’ve taken the red pill. I’ve seen my life for how it is, my thinking for how it is. I can’t unsee it. Maybe one day how I outwardly perform myself will change, but for now, I can’t go back. I am what I am, doing what I’m doing the ways that I do it. Sometimes it hurts. Fuck yeah it hurts. Don’t ever believe anyone who tells you anything remotely differently. And you know what?

It’s ok.

Through this, we grow.

We become something else. We become better, stronger. We know ourselves more. We know more words to use to advocate for ourselves, and that is fucking amazing. Without this pain, without this trial by fire and molten metal, we might not know what we’re capable of. And knowing what we’re capable of is an awesome, incredible thing. That is what makes you, you. That is what inspires you to fucking amazing things. Even if the journey is horrible to get there.


— XCBDSM.com/spd (via polyrolemodels)

I’ve never read truer words! 🙌

(via poly-princess-the-unicorn)


The real Tide Pod Challenge is actually doing a load of laundry while suffering from crippling depression.

February 05 2018

Me: -gets in bed at 10 pm-

My hell brain: hey! You wanna take 3 hours to fall asleep?

Me: N…no…

My hell brain: Okay sure you’ll go to sleep at 1:30 am! How about extreme concern and anxiety about your job and relationship?

Me: No….

My hell brain: Fantastic, anxiety it is! How about waking up at 4 am when you have to be up around 7? That’ll give you 3 hours of sleep, like a long nap with some time in the middle!

Me: Oh for fucks sake could you fucking not

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“there’s a lot to unpack here” is the academic equivalent of “yikes”



im incredibly conflicted by the phrase ‘the question is not who will let me but who will stop me’ because on one hand its so fucking raw and powerful but on the other hand it’s derived from ayn rand but on yet another hand the first and primary time ive ever seen it was on a picture of a lawnmower flying through the sky which is the perfect level of absurd and nonsensical that would piss ayn rand off

reblog to piss off ayn rands ghost



this is my grasp of how football works: two teams of men want the ball very badly but are incapable of sharing it. one team attempts to deliver the ball to their holy ground while the other attempts to prevent this. occasionally an evil man will appear and speak curses to the men, causing them grief and dishonor

I mean… yeah

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online friendships are a delicate mix of “i know all your deepest secrets” and “wait you’re not left-handed”

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“The only way out is through.”

Holy shit.

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this pretty much sums up the entire game right

I am killin it with the go to sleep game. Went to bed at 10 but still up at 1. Really got this sleep thing down pat.

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This is the face of a man who knows he just made a bunch of edgy assholes angry and is really satisfied with it  


me making coffee: this is going to fix everything.

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